I have been talking for months about being ‘Burnt out’ and my struggles with depression.  It’s something that I don’t sugarcoat. I always try to keep it real with all of you what’s going on. And the thing is summer depression is something that I have been struggling with all of my life. I can’t count it happening the moment the weather starts to get hotter.

I always make a joke that I ‘hibernate’ in the summer.  The fact of the matter is that I have a hard time just getting out of bed.  It makes the depression and anxiety I struggle with all the time that much worse. And when I realized my depression was way worse this year due to a lot of things (my breakup with my partner being the core of it) I tried to use work as a clutch.

Yeah, that went fucking badly.

Everyone, including my mother, told me that I needed a break but I refused. I wrote Splinter (and yes I will still be writing Splinter) but I broke all the same. Broke on Tuesday, July 12th.  I shut everything down and took a two-week vacation.

During that vacation, I mostly watched BLdramas, ate snacks, and stayed away from my laptop.  I only picked up my laptop on July 26th.  I also thought about how I’m going to do things with the upcoming school year (I’m homeschooling again) and the projects I wanted to write and the projects I felt that I was obligated to do.

And I realized it was time once again to do a self-audit. To figure out what is working and what’s holding me back. What projects do I need to finish and what projects I needed to cut. I also decided to switch up how I write, what format I’m going to write, and how will I better align my writing with my author brand.

It’s a lot but this is long overdue.  I also decided that I’m not announcing any new projects until I’m at least in a 2nd draft.  I hate that I keep disappointing my peeps and I think this is better for everyone in long run.

 

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Crave by Rian Fox 

When Baltasar Kristofferson was a child his entire family was slaughtered by a vampire. Unfortunately, that vampire is Izîl, one of the most powerful vampire Kings in the world. A decade later, he is an experienced hunter with a chance to finally enact his revenge but he must seduce Izîl to do it. What Baltasar didn't count on was how explosive they would be together. Izîl can make his body sing like no one else. 

Yet, the closer Baltasar gets to the Izîl the more he wonders: who is the hunter and who is the prey?